SHREVEPORT, La. – Local students and parents were stunned this morning with the announcement of a police sting that shut down a high school math lab. Police officials say they raided the halls of Bossier City Magnet High School and discovered nearly a dozen students engaging in illegal math activities, including quadratic equations.
Police spokesman said, “We received a tip this morning regarding the existence of a math lab operating in one of the high school classrooms. Our source told us that students were seen coming and going from the alleged lab location at all hours of the day. Okay, actually not ALL hours – just 8 a.m. until 3 in the afternoon. But we felt it was suspicious and warranted investigation, so we got a search warrant and busted up that group of hooligans.”
Ten students were arrested with possession of math paraphernalia, including high-end scientific calculators, which were immediately impounded.
In a statement to the press, Principal Edward Haversal expressed his shock and disappointment, and had stern words to say. “I’m shocked and disappointed. Today’s students need to know that math is a very, very dangerous thing, and it has no place in a high school. We have zero tolerance – I repeat, zero tolerance – for any activities involving math.”